The Assistants

The compulsively readable and sinfully gossipy tale of five Hollywood personal assistants who band together to turn the tables on their celebrity employers—written by a former personal assistant to a star.

In this wicked, laugh-out-loud debut novel, five miserable souls struggle to make their mark on Hollywood, the city of the soulless.

Rachel, a starry-eyed and clueless Texas transplant accepts a position as assistant to an aging television diva. Michaela has spent years on the casting couch, and the last pilot she almost got, a decade ago, went to that little nobody, Lisa Kudrow. Jeb has been fired from more assistant jobs than he cares to count, and he currently teeters on the edge of insanity under one of the sleaziest agents in Hollywood. Griffin assists a crass A-list manager who has a tanning bed in his office. Kecia, a no-nonsense Pisces pining for love and Krispy Kremes, works for a hot teen heartthrob who is always looking for the next good party—until his ex-con brother shows up at the front door.

Once a week, the assistants meet to commiserate. When the system spits them out, they must learn to succeed through sheer determination, hard-won industry savvy, and luck.

Praise

“Laugh-out loud funny, depressing in a good way, and so up-to-the-minute it could have been written last week, The Assistants is a rare thing: a convincing and very entertaining Hollywood novel.”
— Bret Easton Ellis

“How can you not love a book where one of the characters has pec implants? The Assistants is so viciously funny that I read it in one night—and spent the next six being thankful I’ve never worked in Hollywood. It’s the perfect summer read.”
— Lauren Weisberger, New York Times bestselling author of The Devil Wears Prada

“…a highly energetic, charming account of the frustration and abuse experienced by the unseen of Hollywood…Highly recommended.”
— Library Journal

“Self-obsessed actors. Parasitic agents. Prying paparazzi. Abused underlings. Lobotomized hot chicks. The hilarious Hollywood so astutely observed in The Assistants is exactly the town we all know and love—and love to hate.”
— Ken Baker, US Weekly, West Coast Executive Editor